How Fat White Family’s

How Fat White Family’s

I noticed after I came to London that everybody in the big city starts shagging each other and doing drugs at age 13; no such joy in the soggy,

racist backwater I grew up in. The kids in Cookstown, Northern Ireland, had few pastimes outside of football, setting things on fire and throwing stones at ‘the Portuguese’*

How Fat White Family’s on their way home from work in the evening. I had moved there from the west coast of Scotland after my parents split up several years before,

How Fat White Family’s my mum having married an accountant from the area after throwing in the towel with my dad. I went to a Protestant school as a result.

Mandatory school uniform meant that between the ages of 12 to 18 I wore a great big red hand of Ulster out on my chest everyday.

Loyal to the core! I remember being asked ‘if l liked the Sash?’**

by a group of lads at school around that time; I thought they were referring to ‘Encore Une Fois’ by the French dance outfit ‘Sash!’How Fat White Family’s,

which had not long since been a huge hit. I told them I thought Sash! was dog shit; that I was into music with guitars.

I’d been bullied and battered a bunch of times growing up but no beating contained such archaic mystification as that one.

Alas, I had by the age of 16 become a total loner, with nothing but a deeply entrenched sense of myself as culturally superior to keep me company.

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